For starters there is trying to plan a time to get together with both sides of our families. And within each side, there are mulitiple families to work around. You know what I mean?? This year we all kind of decided to pick a day and stick to it each year. I am hopeful that this will work out going forward and save the stress of choosing a day to get together.
The day really shouldn’t matter as long as you get together
with family….but I’ve been alone on the actual holiday before, and it is kind
of depressing. And I feel like if you
don’t get together on that exact holiday (mostly just regarding Thanksgiving),
then what’s the point of even getting together, because then it’s just another
day. One year James and I were alone on
Christmas so we went deer hunting – of course he shot a deer that day and I
felt horrible, because I was just sure the deer was probably on his way to
Grandma’s house for Christmas dinner L
Then there is the gift exchange. This has changed from year to year on both
sides. As our families keep growing and
more kids are added, it gets harder and more expensive to buy
gifts. I remember how much fun Christmas
was the first year that I had a child – I realized just how much joy little
kids bring to Christmas!
So, then do you buy for all of the kids, or just some, or
none and just spend money on your own kids??
Do you decide you don’t want your kids to think Christmas is just about
presents and decide to keep it simple or not do gifts at all?? Do you set a dollar limit, or just go crazy
because you know how excited they will be to get everything on their
list?? Phew, so many decisions!!
Do you still buy for adults and how many and who and what’s
an appropriate amount to spend??How about this one… do you give a list of things you’d like (or your kids would like), or do you leave it all in the hands of the giver?? As the giver, would you prefer to have a list or do you like the thrill of shopping for that perfect gift??
Sometimes I think the gift giving is more about the
giver…you know they spent lots of time searching for that perfect gift….and
then…you really don’t need it/want it/like it and you end up taking it back or
giving it away anyway. A friend told me
that a relative of hers has given a gift right back to her and said, “I won’t
use this, you can have it back.” Yikes
huh?!?! So maybe it would be better if
we all gave lists…
But then, what’s the point of giving a gift if the recipient
is basically asking for it?? I used to
always give a “wish list”, but then my husband opened my eyes to how silly that
is. Every year I agree with him more and
more. If I want to get someone a gift, I
want to pick it out on my own without a “wish list”…but then that goes back to
“if the recipient doesn’t like it/need it/want it, then giving the gift was
more about me than the recipient--- it’s a vicious circle I guess. And gift receipts?? I am HORRIBLE at remembering to get a gift
receipt…it’s just one more step in a process that already stresses me out. A friend told me that her mother-in-law keeps
all of the gift receipts and then if you need one to return an item, you have
have to ask her for it. I’m sure that’s
her way of keeping tabs of whether or not someone liked the gift she got them.
So I guess we should ask ourselves, “what is the purpose of
giving a gift?” Are we doing it because
we want to, or because “we have to because we drew their name” or because “we
have to because it’s Christmas and we will look like a scrooge if we don’t”??? Oh jeesh, just thinking about all of this
just makes me want to say “no gifts please, let’s just celebrate being
together”.
My husband prefers the “I’ll get you a gift whenever I feel
like it and not just because it’s a holiday and I ‘have to’” method. I’m liking this method more and more because
it means so much more to me on a random day than “because he had to and only
had 2 days left to find me something”. I
have been in a store numerous times and seen that perfect gift for someone, but
instead of giving it to them right away I stash it away for a holiday so I’m
not scrounging for something for them later…and by the time the holiday gets
there I either forget I have it, or it doesn’t seem so exciting anymore. Thus, maybe we should just give gifts
randomly throughout the year instead of just on a holiday…maybe it will mean
more to the recipient?? But then if you
give a gift to one person on a random day, do you have to make sure to buy
something for another member of that household
soon so they don’t feel left out?
Oh brother! Can we just all agree
to buy our own gifts? ;)
Speaking of which, I know people who do buy their own gifts
and then the “giver” just pays them back for it. To me, that falls under the “I
am getting you a gift because I have to” category. But at least the recipient gets what they
want I guess.
Miss Minimalist (the author of the book I referenced in a prior post) recommends opting out of gift exchanges and
instead getting together for an experience – a movie, dinner, game, concert,
etc. Experiences create way more
memories than gifts do. I can’t tell you
very many gifts my mom has given me, but I can name off a mile-long list of
things we have done together. I will buy
myself whatever store item I want, but I might not buy myself an “experience”
item, like…I don’t know…say, tickets to
the Jason Aldean/Florida Georgia Line concert on January 16 (tickets go on sale
November 15…just sayin!) so that I could share that experience with someone. Another experience I would love to receive as
a gift is to wake up to a peacefully empty house and sit on the couch reading a
book uninterrupted all day long.
As I don’t have many people to buy for this year (just the
way I like it), I am already about 80% done with my shopping. I used to love to shop a little bit at a time
throughout the Christmas season, but having kids makes that so hard. It’s easier for me now to shop online or pick
a day to shop without kids and get it all done.
As the giver, I prefer to shop without a list. I usually start thinking of things to get
people a few months early and I write down my ideas to reference later. The hardest part for me has been knowing
where to cut off the gifts for my daughter.
She is at a fun age where she is into so many things that I am
constantly seeing items that I know she would love. Some I have been able talk myself out of and
others go straight into my cart. I
wouldn’t even buy anything for my infant, as he is too little to understand, but
I don’t want the 2 year old to notice, so he got a couple of presents too.
Now that I’m nearly done shopping and the get-together dates
have all been planned, I think I can relax and take in the sights and sounds of
the holidays. I'm even contemplating buying cable for the month of December (we can do that easily with our small local cable company) just so I can watch all of the holiday movies (and DVR lots of Disney movies that are going to be on).
What is your biggest stressor when it comes to the
holidays? Do you have any gift giving
tips or horror stories to share?
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