First of all -- I would just like to say that I am still sulking about missing the concert and if anyone can get me decent tickets to the Kansas City show on February 28th, that would be amazing!!
Okay, this post is not about the concert - don't worry.
Over the past few months I have visited with numerous friends and have found one thing to be true -- I have an amazing baby daddy!! This isn't really new news to me, but it definitely confirmed what I already knew. (see how many times I used a version of "new" in that sentence?!?!) So, here are some things I learned about other daddies that made me cringe....
-won't go anywhere with the kids without Mommy.
-won't be alone with the kids for more than a couple of hours
-the first time he was ever alone with his child, the child was over 1 year old!! ( I still cannot believe this!!!! I left both of my kids with Daddy for the day when they were just a few weeks old -- Mommy needed a day out!!)
-would rather not be alone with the kids overnight
-won't change a dirty diaper (serious!)
-doesn't help with kids' baths
I don't even know where to start. Dads, you are half the reason your child is in this world and just as important to your child as Mommy is. Your child needs time alone with you too. And most importantly, Mommy needs a break! Okay, that might just be me -- I like my break time. But seriously, Dads are just as capable as Mommies to do everything the Mommy can do (besides breast feeding of course -- oh and maybe kissing injuries). Maybe your child even likes the way Daddy does something better than the way Mommy does it?? I always find myself trying to tell my husband how I do something and after he tells me "I'm an adult, I will do it how I want to do it", I realize that it doesn't usually matter how something is done. Even though I am with our kids the most, it doesn't mean that everything has to be done my way, and perhaps they like Daddy's way better. One of my guy friends once told me "I can never do anything as perfect as my wife wants it to be when it comes to taking care of the kids." Moms - chill out!
I know that Rylee likes play time with Daddy way more than play time with Mommy. Daddy broadens her horizon's and forces her to be more creative than Mommy does and she needs that. Daddy takes her outside more than Mommy and exposes her to things I would never dream of doing with her (like doing donuts in the Gator or having her help carry wood). Since most couples aren't the same personality or have the same interests, it's good for the children to spend time independently with each parent so they can be exposed to a variety of things. James takes Rylee to auctions with him. If it weren't for him doing that, she would have no idea what an auction is since I would never take her to one (and lets face it, knowing what an auction is is definitely a crucial part of life). James takes her to work with him once in awhile and lets her play on the tractors, while also trying to teach her about them (she probably knows more than I do).
I also notice that Daddy teaches her different things than I do. For example, I frequently give her change to put in her piggy bank, but never thought to teach her each of the coins. To my amazement, she knows them and Daddy was the one who taught her while she was putting the coins in her bank one day.
This one might shock you, but Daddy is definitely better at bathing the kids than I am. He is a "anything worth doing, is worth doing right" kind of person. He makes sure the kids are squeaky clean, because if they are in the tub anyway, they might as well get clean. Me? I just throw them in a little soapy water and hope it does the trick (I wash their hair and faces too). So, it's good that we alternate giving the kids baths.
There are definitely times when I think to myself, "what is he doing? I would have done that way differently.", but I don't say anything because whatever it is he's doing, it's not hurting anything. And then there are of course the times when I think "oh, that was a good idea. Why didn't I think of doing it that way?" Of course, these are very few times ;)
Okay, I will stop my lecture there, but could probably go on forever. I just think that moms and dads are equals and should each be able to parent the same as the other. One parent should not be more important than the other or be allowed to make a majority of the "parenting rules".
I would just like to toot my brother's horn for a minute. We were having a conversation about Dads and parenting the other day when he told me that he truly loves spending time with his family and dreads time away from them. He will have a huge yard to mow this summer and he said lots of guys have been telling him "That's a good thing. It will give you time away from your family". However, he is agonizing over the hours it will require him to be away from his family each week. I think this speaks volumes. He is a very hands-on parent who knows what he signed up for and looks forward to each new day with his family. Kudos.
Kudos also to the single dads and some of my male facebook friends who I see spending lots of quality time with their kiddos! Dads are just so much more fun than Moms sometimes :) I always enjoy time with my Dad too.
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