Santa Should Get Paid

I was bummed when I showed up to college and saw that "Toy Making" and "Sleigh Driving" weren't majors the school offered.  My dreams of becoming Santa Claus some day were shattered.  I couldn't think of anything else I'd rather do than eat cookies, hang out with elves, and make all the kids in the world smile.  I guess I wasn't really cut out to live in the cold 24/7 for the rest of my life anyway.  I probably would have had a hard time growing a beard too. 

I realized tonight how glad I am that my life was led in a different path.  Santa really does have a very hard job!  I mean there is the obvious, making millions of toys and delivering them all in one night.  Beyond that though, is so many other difficult decisions and tedious details to remember.  For starters, the "wrap" vs "don't wrap" issue.  I mean, it would just be waaaay too easy for Santa to do the same thing for all kids.  By the way, I hear the Tooth Fairy gives every kid a different amount than their friends...what's up with that?? Anyway...I don't think I know any married couple who grew up with Santa doing the same thing for each of them, and thus, their first fight as parents is whether or not Santa should wrap the kid's presents.  Maybe this should be a required first date discussion. 

When Santa does wrap gifts, he has to use special paper and has to make sure that 1) there is enough of it to wrap all the presents in and 2) the kids don't see the paper anywhere in their house prior to Christmas.  And then to make it even more difficult, Santa has to know which gift tags Mom and Dad are going to use so he doesn't use the same ones....and sometimes he even makes sure to write in a different ink color than Mom and Dad too.  See what I mean about all the details?

In addition to finding out what each kid has on their wish list, Santa also has to know if the parents prefer his gifts to be more or less exciting than theirs.  Some parents feel that their own gifts to the kids should be more exciting than what Santa brings them, and some prefer Santa to bring the exciting gifts.  And on top of this, Santa also needs to find out if any of the child's other family members are getting them things from the child's list so he doesn't bring them a toy they are already going to be receiving...which could then make Santa's gift disappointing to the child.  I just don't know how Santa keeps this all straight...what a stressful job!

Anyway, don't get me started on the cute little elves he sends to houses to watch over the kids...that must be A LOT of work to coordinate the travel to and from the North Pole each night and A LOT of work for the elves to find a new place to hang out when they return to the homes in the morning.  I mean, Rylee gets so excited to jump out of bed each morning and go see where Elfie is.....what if she forgot to go to the North Pole one night and didn't move spots in our house...yikes!  I'm so glad I don't have the job of coordinating all of that!  Whew! 

Then there's the level of extreme quietness Santa has to possess to be able to haul all of the presents into a house and gently place under a tree without waking anyone.  How can he be really sure that everyone is asleep and he won't be seen??  This would be my biggest fear if I were Santa.

And finally, the cookies...ALL THOSE COOKIES Santa has to eat all night long.  I mean, I LOVE cookies and could probably eat five one every day, but I just can't imagine having to eat several at each house for an entire night...this has to cut into his productivity...he must have super efficiency skills.  I just had another thought...when does he go to the bathroom...and where??  Huh.  Maybe a little colored water test in my toilets this year..... But, back to the cookies...what if Santa doesn't like the ones set out for him?  I bet he's glad for houses like ours where the dad eats all the cookies and he has to have crackers instead.

Oh, so glad I didn't pursue a career as Santa Claus!  But seriously, he should get paid!  Instead of cookies this year, let's all agree to leave him a monetary tip instead...deal??