How many items do you have in your house that you haven't used in over a year (or ever), but can't bring yourself to get rid of, because "you might use it someday"? I'm on a mission right now to get rid of all of those items in my house....it's going to take awhile.
While driving around Amish Country in Pennsylvania last week I was thinking about how amazing it is that the Amish live so simply and without "stuff" to hold them down. Their lives have so much meaning and they value more than just their "stuff".
While in Pennsylvania I also thought about how we can go on vacation with just the items in our suitcase (and I only bring what can fit into a carry-on size suitcase) and be perfectly content with just those items for the length of time we are on vacation.
These thoughts (along with the gut-wrenching realization of how much shopping I've done in the past few months) prompted me to read a book called "Miss Minimalist: Inspiration to Downsize, Declutter and Simplify". This book did inspire me to do just that! The author is an extreme minimalist with no kids, so her idea of living with "just what you need to survive" and mine are slightly different, but she does mention several times that each person's needs are different.
Most of us are fortunate to be able to obtain nearly anything we want, and yes, we do realize the difference between wants and needs. 90% of the items in my house are "wants", and I do plan to keep most of my "wants", but there are just way too many items in my house that are not current "wants" and I don't see the point in keeping them around for "someday", which will probably never come.
I spend so much of my time in my house and having it as neat and tidy as possible helps keep me sane. I used to be okay with just having things neatly organized, and possibly even out of sight too. But, I have come to realize that just organizing my things or putting them out of sight doesn't actually make me feel better, because I know that all of the items are still there....sitting...serving no purpose to me.
The author of the mentioned book stresses that our things tie us down and keep us from enjoying life. From worrying about our things getting stolen while we are on vacation, to turning down guests because our house is too messy, to spending time dusting items when we'd rather be out enjoying a nice day. As I was dusting a couple of days ago to prepare for a Halloween Party we were hosting, I realized just how much sense the author makes. I hate dusting and there wasn't a single thing I picked up to dust that really means that much to me....in fact, I started to very much dislike the items for sucking up my time. I'm bottling up that feeling for the next time I see some random decoration that I think I need...hopefully remembering how much care every item I bring into the house requires, I will put it back down and let someone else "enjoy" dusting it instead.
Last week while I was in the mood to get rid of everything and before I could change my mind, I purged every closet, drawer and cupboard on the main floor of my house. I loaded my van FULL of things that were of no value to me and just taking up space. Anything that prompted me to say any of the following statements received a free trip to the van.:
"I forgot I had this."
"I don't remember the last time I used this."
"I have no idea what I would use this for."
"I can't think of any reason I will need this in the next year."
Another ticket for a free ride in the van was answering "no" to this question: "If I were to lose this in a house fire, would I replace it?"
There were quite a few items that were hard to get rid of, but my goal in doing this was to be real and not hold onto things (even if it had emotional sentiment) if they weren't being used and I had no plans of using them in the near future. The items that held emotional attachment were asked the following question: What purpose did you originally serve to me and is that still a current need of mine?
For example, I had 2 cat pictures that my grandmother cross-stitched for me when I was young. They are very cute and I wasn't sure I should get rid of them. But then I realized that she made those for the young Emily who wanted a cat so bad and couldn't have one. I'm not that Emily anymore, but they served their purpose when I was that girl. Thinking of some other little girl (or crazy cat lady) finding them at the thrift store and being overjoyed to have them made me smile, and into the van they went.
I also had a pretty glass jar that I originally kept because it reminded me of growing up, as it was always sitting out on a counter somewhere. But, I'm not using it; it's just sitting in a cupboard. I have no plans to use it, because 1) I don't like things sitting out on my counters and 2) I would have to dust it. So -- into the van it went for someone else to enjoy.
I'm also not one to save things for my kids to have someday. I am writing journals for my kids, and there is nothing I'd rather they have more than my written words. I don't have anything of my mom's from when she was little, nor would I want it....so I can't imagine my kids wanting anything of mine when they are older. My mom saved my baby blanket for me, but I'm not using it and neither are my kids, so I see no point in keeping it around to take up space.
It's not that I don't have the space to store all of these items, but I don't see purpose in keeping things that sit in a box on a shelf and don't get used. Even sentimental items -- they aren't doing anything for me if I can't see them.
One set of items I'm torn about is my crystal dishes. We got about 4 bowls and 2 platters for weddings gifts 4 years ago. For all 4 years they have remained in their boxes in a cupboard. I have no plans to use them because 1)I'm not a fancy person and don't host fancy events 2)If I use them, I have to wash them and I'm afraid they will be spotty from the water. I also don't want to display them, because 1) I have to worry about them getting broken and 2) I have to dust them. I have pretty much talked myself into getting rid of all but 1 of them, but my husband thinks I should keep them all because they were wedding gifts. I have gotten rid of plenty of gift items over the years and have no regrets. I could care less if someone got rid of a gift I gave them. If you feel strongly that I should keep my crystal, please leave a comment on my facebook page and tell me why.
Thinking of displaying my crystal dishes reminds me of another great point the author of the book mentions about how our stuff crowds our lives. Because one has crystal dishes to display, they might go out and buy a curio cabinet...which wouldn't be a necessary item if you didn't have the dishes to begin with. Buying a curio cabinet means one more thing to bring into your house to take up space and be cleaned and maintained. Thus...another reason I do not want my crystal dishes....I do not want another piece of furniture in my house that I have to maintain.
And keeping things because they might be worth money some day??? Unless it is worth enough to make someone very rich, I say sell it now and put the money in your kids' college fund.
Overall, this purging of my things is about having a more calm and serene space to live in. I get very anxious when there is stuff sitting out on my counters, or a drawer gets so full that I can't find anything. I love walking into a room or opening a closet door and seeing lots of empty space; it's very calming. I used to think I needed a piece of furniture in every corner of a room or something hanging on every wall, but as I am getting rid of things and opening up space, I'm realizing how much more fulfilling and desirable it is to have open space. It also makes me happy to think of someone else enjoying my things now (as opposed to when I'm dead).
For those of you who are thinking, "Wow. She's crazy."....don't worry, my greatest ideas usually only have about a 30 day lifespan :) But really though, I think this one will last. The author of the book recommends getting rid of 1 thing each day for a year so you will be 365 items freer...I plan to give that a try. In addition to it creating more space and making my life feel less cluttered, I am also hoping that by getting rid of something each day it will keep me from impulse buying things I don't need (which I do frequently and am paying for it now as I get rid of it all). Don't get me wrong...I will always enjoy shopping and buying things, but hopefully going forward I will buy things more purposefully. I also plan to institute the "1 in 1 out rule" where if I buy a new shirt for example, then an old one has to be donated (I have successfully done this before).
Even if you have no desire to get rid of your stuff, but need a reminder about seeing the beauty in life rather than "stuff", I recommend reading the book. Think about the most peaceful time in your life...I bet you weren't surrounded by stuff. As much as my 3 months in a hospital stunk, James and I always talk about how peaceful our life was at that time. He pretty much lived in that little room with me and neither of us had a care in the world...we just enjoyed each other's company every day. I think James (who would be happy living in a tent in the woods for the rest of his life) and I would both agree that once we became homeowners, life got crazy (and expensive). Remember when you lived in a 10x10 room in college and survived all 9 months with just the things that fit in your room???? You had plenty of time to get out and enjoy life, didn't you?!?!?!?
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