Are you living the life you want to live? I know I'm not. I have a husband and children whom I love very much, and that part of my life is good, but what about the rest of it...the inner part of me that I share with others? I have in my mind the kind of person I want my kids to be, my daughter in particularly, but I know I'm not doing my best at modeling that type of person for her.
I have some Facebook friends who I admire very much and thoroughly enjoy stalking their pages to see what they have been up to :) They are people who have an amazing lust for life and are incredibly positive. Ironically they are all nature lovers, and here I sit INDOORS admiring them all the time. Why am I not out doing the things that look so appealing to me?
I am an incredible excuse maker! I can find some reason to just stay right where I am, in my comfort zone...both physically and mentally, instead of getting out and making memories, learning, or strengthening relationships. It's interesting that nearly every time I leave my house, or mentally branch out of my comfort zone, I am enlightened, refreshed, overjoyed, or all of the above....but yet I still would rather remain inside my comfort most of the time. Why do we do that? As our friend Jesse shows us, there is so much to miss out on if you don't take the jump!
We take so many things in our life for granted, right down to something as simple as breathing. People with Cystic Fibrosis are fighting for breaths and can't get near the oxygen into their lungs that the rest of us can. I stepped outside today to see how warm it was and to get some fresh air. While I was out there I took some very deep breaths and cherished each one. I felt very at peace at that moment. I needed a quiet reminder that life is beautiful, but not guaranteed. A reminder to stop watching and start doing.
Other than having classes with him and witnessing some of his crazy shenanigans, the only story I have of Jesse is this: I transfered to the U of I hospital 7 days after my accident 7 years ago. The first day I was there, I had a balloon delivered to me. The card read something like this: "Hi Emily, I'm in room 123. Let me know when you want to cause trouble in the hallways together." It was signed by Jesse Anderson. I thought to myself, "I only know one person with that name, and I know for sure this is him.....but why in the world would he send me a balloon???....I barely know him!!!" It's obvious he didn't know me very well since he thought I would be up for causing trouble with him ;) But my point to this story is this:
Moments like these are what carry the biggest impact in my life. Here is a person who selflessly gave a very nice gesture to someone to show he was thinking of them. I still remember this like it was yesterday and will probably never forget it. I also remember the day several years ago that I opened a piece of mail from the Blood Center of Iowa and in handwriting as beautiful as I remember it from high school, was a note from an old classmate that she donated blood in my name. Again, another unexpected and uplifting gesture that I will always remember.
While I don't do it enough, making someone's day with a small gesture is one thing that brings me great joy too. Life is about the relationships we build. At least mine is and I know I need to strengthen some of those relationships. All of the "career aptitude" and "personality" tests I have ever taken in my life have been very one sided...the "people" or "relationships" side. I was supposed to be a guidance counselor or social worker according to all of the tests and my strengths are always working with people, building relationships, etc. A friend recently said to me, "Like you have ever had a hard time making friends". I was flattered, but I know as of late I am really failing at this one...sometimes it's hard to know where to draw the line between spending time with your family and spending it with friends. I choose my family sometimes when I should probably be choosing friends....after all, friends are the family we choose, right?
There is one really important piece of life that I can't go without mentioning. Attitude. I believe whole heartedly that our attitude determines our happiness with our life. I don't think this is a secret to anyone, but some people get so blinded by their negativity that they forget this. I have absolutely zero patience for those who choose to play a victim role and complain day in and day out without considering for a moment that maybe their attitude is actually the problem. I know people in this predicament and it is very sad to watch them waste days of their precious life.
I have a great example of how an attitude change helped me recently. I used to yell at my kids on a daily basis, and multiple times per day. Often, it would make them cry and always it made the rest of my day worse. About 6 weeks ago I decided to stop yelling at them and instead take deep breaths and politely explain to them why I wished they would stop doing whatever it was. Something amazing transformed after just 1 week of this...all 3 of us have very pleasant days together, there is rarely any crying, and most of the things I used to yell at them for have either stopped bothering me, or have just stopped happening all together. It's like a whole new experience being home with my kids now and all I had to do was change my attitude.
I look at people like the Jesse's in the world who are very sick, but choose to wake up with a winning attitude every day, knowing they are blessed to have another day of life, and live their day the best way they know how to. There really shouldn't be any other option for our day. But yet, we all find things to complain about and use excuses to stay in our comfort zone. What are those complaints and excuses doing for us??
I don't know about you, but I want to live more like the Jesse's! I want to be more selfless and share my life with friends and family. I want to have an infectiously positive attitude...one that will impact the lives of those around me, my kids in particular.
So, take a deep breath, be thankful for it, and do something nice for a friend. A special card is on it's way to one of mine :) Have a great day everyone!
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